FROM THE HEART
My call to this work came at a time and in a way that is not easy to speak about. The shifting and, to me, limiting nature of the practice of medicine at that time was driving me in a direction that literally did not feel healthy... for anyone concerned.
Every time I let someone leave the office without my having the time to really address what was going on felt like a bit of soul loss. It felt dangerous.
The final straw came when I was directed to reduce the time needed to perform a full annual examination. I had 15 minutes to address only certain parts of the person, perform a few tests, determine if more tests or prescriptions were needed, and then make recommendations... I stewed in utter cognitive dissonance.
I had completed a lot of excellent training with years of practice and believed I was “set for life” in many ways. Yet I was now living within a conundrum before the internal prayer, mantra, inquiry – whatever one calls it – turned into a constant and ever present question:
“OK, God, if not this, then what?”
The answer I received arrived on several levels all at the same time.
The experience was, still is, palpably real and through it I understood immediately that I needed to put the stethoscope down and touch directly with my hands. The rest came in a clear, direct, and unequivocal voice (not my own):
“You will find the answer to your life’s dream through craniosacral work.”
Though I knew what ‘cranial’ and ‘sacral’ meant, I had no idea nor had I ever heard of something called ‘craniosacral work’. It took some time before I had the courage to ask anyone about it, let alone discover its origins and what it was really all about.
By the time I realized that the way I was trying to practice medicine meant that I was actually attuned to the spirit of osteopathy, it felt too late to “start over”. For whatever reason, guidance didn’t take me in that direction. I still don’t fully understand, yet I trust.
A series of uncanny events led me to eventually attend a class with Fritz Smith, MD, DO, meet my now former husband Hugh Milne DO – a fellow student in that class – and leave my profession as a Physician Assistant. Soon after, I met Charles Ridley, who at that time had just begun to teach for Milne Institute. It was an immediate recognition of I know, that you know, that I know, that you know... The IT... that has gotten us here. The only other place where I encountered this same feeling was in 2012 when I participated in the "Sacred Senses" course with Dr. James Jealous.
My deepest desire is to be amid those who understand and live by: Be Still and Know I AM.